noshi17 - too thin.....( i need help)

well ladies things have been really strange lately....my boy friend complained for being too thin and he told me he was going to break up with me if i didn't do somthing...so we worked together and i became healthy for 2 months now...but i hate it...i got the curves back the fucken curves i never wanted...all the fat and flab...  and now my new computer is all fucked up and im soo pissed...well going off topic now. i have missed soo much on here, i promised him i would not visit this site anymore...and that i would gain all the 15 pounds back...well helped me gain it back, but i can't stand it i want to be me again. is funny i lost the drive and motivation, i need help to get it back, help me plz like im really in deep trouble im back to 115...i want to go back i dont' care what he says i hate being like this, yes it was good for a while i ate whatever junk i wanted but now its all shit.

PLEASE LADIES help me...where is my motivation, how come i can't do it? what should i do? ahhh i hate my bf right now for doing this to me, he should of loved me the way i was, and not changed me 
oh and college life sucks fucken donkey balls